Besides Quang we had a lady guide (South Vietnamese) named Ping.   She was early 40 something and another great ambassador for her country and National Geographic.  She was just the right amount of professional and personal; telling us stories of her life along our journey and that of her family.  Answering endless questions.

Her mother and father are rural farmers and have never been to the big city of Saigon.  They do have a cell phone that she gave them but that is the only modern technology in the house.  They have a small rice paddy to maintain and their prize possession is their water buffalo.  Her Mom is the farmer in the family and her actual use of the coveted animal is quite minimal.  She makes a little money by renting it out to neighbors for use in their paddies. It is quite the status symbol.

Ping is married and has two children and by cultural norms there she is very modern and “strong” as she says. She met her husband while in school and they were in love for five years before they were allowed to marry. It took her three years to convince her mother-n-law that she was good enough for her son. The mother had gone to a fortune teller and was told that she would not be a good wife. This was based on the day and time that Ping was born. The fortune teller never met Ping. The fortune teller ritual is common practice and they hold a lot of influence over the people.   Normally she and her family would have moved in with her husband’s parents when they got married.  (Three generational households are the norm there.)  BUT, she and her mother-n-law do not get along.  I happened to have had two great mother-n-laws in my life but two women living in the same house feels like a recipe for disaster..in any culture.  Even still, she is expected to take care of her husband’s parents when the time comes they need help.  When they pass on she and her husband either have to move to their house and live in it or keep it vacant as a shrine.  They are not allowed to sell or rent it.  Seems like dead people get abundant respect in Vietnam.  That explains all the  vacant little homes we saw along the highways in our travels around the country.  Shrines.
When Ping had her children she chose to have them by C-section so she could have them when her fortune teller said it was the best day and time for their future.

Ping’s sister works 7 days a week in a rubber factory.  She gets up at 5:30 to shop for food for her husband and two kids, makes breakfast for them, works all day, comes home and makes dinner, does laundry, cleans, etc.  Everyday.  Everyday. Everyday.   She doesn’t complain because she feels fortunate to have the job and works overtime when ever she is asked.  I guess we are a bit spoiled?

In the 1980’s there was a two child policy in effect.  If you dared to have a third child you could lose your job and pay a fine.  Boys are highly revered and girls are still expected to serve their fathers and brothers, husbands and sons.  The two child policy ended in 2012 but the average family is still two children by choice.  Vietnam is a young country.  Most of the population was born after 1975, when the war ended.  I saw some old people while walking around and wished, again, that I could have coffee with them and hear about their war experiences.

We flew to Hanoi; a two hour ride and face masks were a must.   The vibe was instantly different. It took about an hour to get to the city from the airport.  I enjoy these rides seeing the country side out the bus window.  You get to see what life is really like somewhere.  Not what they want to show you.  Hanoi, the capitol, was a level up from Saigon in sophistication.  Apparently the North looks down on the South as their hillbilly countrymen.  Sounds familiar.  It was evident by the cleaner streets, less traffic and better maintained buildings.  We stopped at a little storefront restaurant for lunch.  A place I would have never considered on my own.  Local knowledge is key.  We had the best pho noodle chicken soup I have ever had in my life and some “Hanoi” beer.

Our hotel was the infamous Sofitel Legend Metropole. Very fancy and French of course.  Apparently the finest in Hanoi.  Many famous people have stayed there including  Joan Baez, Pete Seeger, John Denver, Stephen Hawking, Charlie Chaplin, Robert DeNiro, Brad Pitt, Angelina, Oliver Stone, The Indiana Jones cast (they filmed the Temple of Doom movie nearby).  Harrison Ford, Danny DeVito, and on and on and Dave and Robyn!  Another controversial lady stayed there during the war.  Jane Fonda.  Her infamous trip in 1972 to visit the North Vietnamese and denounce the war gave her the name “Hanoi Jane”.  What ever you think of her is on you but my liberal old ass has always appreciated her acting abilities; whatever her politics are or were.  She’s 82 now and I love Grace and Frankie on Netflix!

Ping took us to the Ho Chi Minh Memorial which I guess is kind of mandatory.  He was much loved and still is.  In 1946 he sent three letters to President Truman asking for help in ousting the French from  ruling Vietnam. Supposedly Truman never looked at the letters. How different would history have been if Truman had read the letters and responded? Ho had no choice but to turn to the Soviets for help.

A visit to a colonial era prison known as the Hanoi Hilton was next.  American POW’s, notably John McCain were held prisoner there during the war (he was there 5 years).  McCain was shot down over a lake in Hanoi that we rode by.  A beautiful park today.  Complete with guillotine, it was as awful as I expected it to be.

The after noon was one of my favorite parts of the trip.  We were treated to individual rick-shaw rides right through the crazy, busy part of the Old Quarter.  Inches away from scooters and cars and traffic moving in a chaotic rhythm that was like playing the old Frogger video game.  We survived and looked forward to the visiting Ninh Binh the next day.  Out of the city and finally into nature.